I'm sitting here trying to decide which one God is doing? Is he testing me or punishing me? Since December things have just been nuts!
First my son was born and this of course was a GREAT thing for us! We love him and so do his sisters. Since his birth though things have just gone nuts!
My father had a massive stroke and passed away 10 days after my son was born. I have to go to Georgia alone with all six kids because our van isn't big enough for us all.
Get back home and have Christmas and then our heater is dead one morning. Thankfully a friends husband comes over and fixes it!
Hubby goes back to night shift at work. Not his choice, something they do every 2 years. So he will be on night shift for the next 2 years:(
His first night back my 4 yr old slams my 15 month old finger in the door. Not to mention 4 out of 6 kids are just going nuts that night. Showing out because Dad's back at work? Maybe.
Then hubby hurts his back on Monday leaving me to be a single mom this whole week. I honestly think I'm going to lose my mind. I know they say God doesn't give you more than you can handle, but I'm thinking to myself "God, how much do you think I can handle"?
To top things off my husband made an appointment that I asked him not to make at the moment. It's an appointment for him to have the big "V" done next week. I've not forgiven him for scheduling this appointment, nor will I have anything to do with this appointment. I asked him to hold off until we were both 100% sure we don't want anymore children. Well I guess he is 100% sure since he has the appointment made. Yet, I'm still on the fence. Yes I know I'm at the point that I'm about to lose my mind this week. I go back and forth daily, so it's not a good time to make the choice at the moment. I'm just not ready!
So why do I feel like I'm being punished? Why is God throwing so much at me?
Thoughts
12 years ago
If you already have six kids and your whole family can't even fit into the van you have, and your husband wants to have the big "V" done, I would support that decision. I wouldnt want my spouse to feel overhwlemed by the sheer number of kids and who knows how ppl will react if you put too much on them. Child number 7 might be just enough to push him over the edge and send him packing. I am of course looking at the possible bad things that could come from the situation.
ReplyDeleteOur family can't fit into the van which is why we are planning on getting a new van. Right now the only place we go as a whole family is church. Which is about 1 1/2 miles from our house so it's not a big deal to take both the van and the car.
ReplyDeleteWe talked awhile back about having as many children as God would give us. That's why I'm angry that he would go and make this appointment after I talked with him about waiting until we were both 100% sure we didn't want anymore children. I'm angry that he waits until I'm out of town, doesn't talk to me about it and schedules the appointment.
My husband (me also) doesn't believe in divorce, so it's not going to send him packing to have more children.