Losing

I feel like I'm in a losing battle all the time!

I feel like I'm losing myself. I know that when you grow up and have kids you and your "life" are put on the back burner. At least that's how it seems or should be in my eyes. When you have kids the party is over. The going out with friends and not worrying about getting up early the next morning-gone! The sleeping in-gone! Watching a movie or TV in peace-gone! Sitting on the couch or laying in bed all day reading-gone! That's all gone!

What you get though is such a wonderful love! Hugs & Kisses all the time. I love my kids and I still do all of the above except the going on with friends and worrying about coming home early enough. I just do everything different. I get to sleep in sometimes (thanks to my husband). I get to watch TV, I just fall a sleep during the shows most of the time. I get to read, but once again usually fall a sleep.

I just feel like I'm losing myself. I feel like I'm losing control over my house. I feel like I'm losing something from my marriage.

Every night it's a losing battle at bedtime. I lose every night when it's 11pm and I'm still telling my kids to go to freaking bed. I lose everytime I clean something and someone messes it up 2 minutes later. I lose whenever I can't get around to doing something I wanted to do. I lose when I go to bed mad, or get mad at my husband at any point and time during the day. I lose when I end up in the bathroom crying my eyes out for no reason!

I just feel so lost and sick of losing all the time. I don't know where to turn things around.

Jess